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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE SOURCE: The NWO (NEW WORLD ORDER) Moscow Bureau

The following have been declared effective immediately:

1. The National Anthem changed to start with the following lines:

You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of  the time.      

2. An immediate new TAX on all citizens of 1 cent each to be applied once and for all to purchase a small island along the African or Hawaiian coast to exile the Obama tribe.

3. New Government functions to be filled immediately by the following personnel:

Barack Hussein Obama- Cactus grower in Putin’s Dacha

Joe Biden- Official Dacha Plumber

Eric Holder- Pigeon feeder at Official Ceremonies

Nancy Pelosi- Concubine of a toothless Soothsayer

Harry Reid- Decorated Puppet Master of the Tribal Council

FEMA DIRECTORATETemporary position slot open due to current holder’s incompetence PREFERENCE for position : Equal Opportunity Minority Candidate – a.k.a Elisabeth Warren (previous experience, lying about belonging to the Cherokee Indian Tribe)

SUPERVISOR OF WATER BOTTLING DEPARTMENT: Chris Christie (a large throne will be supplied)

GAS FILLING STATIONS’ SUPERVISOR: Colin P. decorated Veteran

TEMPORARY HOUSING AND RELOCATION: Another Kennedy

DEPARTMENT OF HOME LAND SECURITY: OPEN FOR A VOTE IN A SOUTH AMERICAN ELECTION TO  BE ANNOUNCED

HEAD OF BANANA IMPORT DEPARTMENT: Ben Bernanke

DIRECTORATE OF OLD AGE PENSIONERS: Barney Frank – Under Secretary of the Diaper Change Department, Hillary Clinton- Under Secretary of the Washroom Inspectorate

WASHINGTON TOWN CRIER: BILL CLINTON but only temporarily as his main job is sucking on someone

OFFICIAL SPIN DEPARTMENT: Directorate Huff Post, Appointed official liars (previously filled by Journalists)- Debbie Wasserman Schmuck-

GOVERNMENT PIMP: David Axelrod, Rahm Emmanuel Under Licker

MINISTRY OF GOD: Position to be filled shortly- Requirements: National Union Leadership – or alternatively a Nation of Islam adherent

DEFENSE: General Ball Dropper -Decorated Benghazi War Hero, Holder of the Medal for African Liberation

BORDER SECURITY: Ex-Mongolian Border Guard Chief Aujo cometh quick the Third

HEAD OF PEANUT IMPORT TRADING BUREAU: Fat Cat Bloomberg

The positions listed in blue are required to be filled by those who would like to share their personal wealth with the “you did not build that” crowd.

All other government positions are abolished.

Believers in a Constitution will be punished immediately, believers in a Congress will be disqualified from all future government positions.

Until further notice: WHEEL BARRELS will be required to transport all old currencies to the scrap heap run by the Soros’ Foundations.

OUR REGULAR POSTING WILL CONTINUE NEXT WEEK. THANK YOU FOR VOTING! GOOD LUCK! HAPPY HUNTING OR GARDENING!

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